Door #12: The Tower (part II)
The last of the Long Nights has fallen on Canterbury Lane. Four unlikely heroes who first sought only treasure here now fight a monster from the stars for control of the Lane's potent magic. With labor, luck, and extra-large helpings of deus ex machina, they have gathered the Lane's magical gifts and nearly won the day, only to have them stolen at the last moment by Bingle, who now floats at the brink of mastering the Hyperborean north. Already, one of their number, the thieving and boozy Toddy, has fallen under Bingle's control, and the holiday mood grows grim as the others wonder who will be next.
KLAUS: Ho ho ho! The set isn't complete -- we missed a gift in the post office!
KABLOO: Hee hee, yes! Our incompetence is the one secret weapon you can never take from us!
KLAUS: Speaking of secret weapons, JOLLY BLACK TENTACLES!
Holding forth his candy cane rod, Klaus commands grasping tendrils to rise from the snow! Transformed by the rod's metamagic, the tentacles are not black and spongy, but shining and ribbon-like; like any other black tentacles, however, they gleefully ignore Spell Resistance!
KLAUS: Ah, the rod of jolly metamagic! One of my best ideas, if I do say so myself. Leaves good creatures alone, but affects everyone else normally, from cosmic evil to jaded little twerps like our frosted elven friend. It's a nice, quick way of separating naughty folks from nice, as long as you don't mind the naughty ones getting crushed.
JAMPA: Tee hee! Jampa must be nice! Tentacles are only tickling Jampa.KLAUS: Yes, your pure and simple soul has protected you, leaving you free to TEAR BINGLE LIMB FROM LIMB!
KABLOO: So what am I supposed to do, Klaus? Something tells me I've made lifestyle choices those tentacles wouldn't approve of. They're all shiny and gold... the color of the violently self-righteous.
KLAUS: This is why I suggested you prepare all those Reach spells. Tonight, we buff!
Spectral Hand! Haste!
KABLOO: Bah, buffing... the lowliest form of magic. What would you like next, some card tricks? The cup and ball trick? Bardic performance? Reach Resist Energy! Reach Greater Magic Fang!
JAMPA: Magic protecting Jampa from cold... and Jampa's teeth feel invincible! Finally, lifelong dream of eating a whole snowman is within Jampa's grasp! CHOMP!
KLAUS: Fly! Stoneskin! My goodness, look at him go. Is that a grapple? I don't know what kind of CMB you can wring out of just your incisors, but he's getting every last drop!
BINGLE: Off, you horrible beast! You call me a villain? You're a cannibal!
JAMPA: Ha! Time-tested yeti legal precedent says it is not cannibalism to eat people in self-defense! Jampa knows his rights! Jampa-- OOF!
KABLOO: Reach Natural Rhythm! Ooh, he got stomped! Really makes you happy to be a caster, doesn't it? I've had some rough days, but at least I never go home with a bootprint running from neck to thigh. Then again, fighters get all the glory. And the ladies! The big lummox who kills the dragon gets the girl every time. The goblin who cast Enlarge Person on the lummox? Nothing but a kiss on the cheek. Can't they see I'm a better catch, the brainless floozies?!
Just as battle seems to have turned against him, Bingle stretches forth his gloved palm and coats Jampa in snow! In a terrifying instant, the yeti falls silent and turns upon his teammates!
BINGLE: Finally! I've survived your worst, and now your friend is mine to command, complete with the magical strength you've given him! And don't think you'll escape me through resurrection, Nicholas. I've guessed your secret. That rod is the final gift, and I'll command your friend to fetch it for me after he's killed you.
KABLOO: Get clear, Kabloo. Between Toddy's ambush and the beating Jampa gave him, Bingle should be nearly destroyed, but he's advancing quickly. I've got one more move to make... just the same as the ice pops.
KLAUS: There's always risk. JOLLY FIREBALL!
In a blazing flash of festive flame, Bingle melts and his starflight suit fall empty to the snow. Bingle's supernatural snow soon melts along with him, leaving his erstwhile snow scions soaking but unharmed.
TODDY: What-- balls! Why do I miss EVERY GODDAMN fight?! This whole week and a half has been nothing but long blackouts with occasional bouts of Sneak Attack. It's like my 21st birthday all over again.
JAMPA: Don't worry, little elf, Jampa will tell you the whole story. Jampa killed a bad guy!
TODDY: I do vaguely remember you... trying to EAT somebody? Is that right?
JAMPA: That is one version of story, Jampa guesses. Jampa does not appreciate your anti-yeti spin, little elf.
The Next Day...
KLAUS: The Long Nights are over, my friends. I'll fade away soon, to return next year, so I must leave the immediate future of Canterbury Lane to you. Bingle is dead, but others of his kind remain, and Faaluk is no doubt stirring up the goblins to conquest as we speak. Perhaps you'd like to stay on Canterbury Lane this year? Resettle? Rebuild?
TODDY: Eh, I'll go back to Tipsytown and get the rest of the elves started on rebuilding the workshops out here. Can't promise I'll stay, though. I can barely stand those bastards when they're miserable... if I had to live with happy elves, I think I'd stick my head in a nutcracker and pull the lever. Maybe I'll go live with the goblin tribes... you people can always use another little bastard to replace the ones you lose to adventurers, right?
KABLOO: Hee hee, what an idea! They'll be in chaos! Between the two of us, we could assassinate whoever stands in our way and become warlords! You'll fit right in! A warlord is supposed to be angry and violent, and if he stinks of ale, that's just a badge of high Con!
TODDY: Kabloo, I think this is the start of an unconscionable friendship.
JAMPA: Jampa will stay, funny hat man! Maybe now that Jampa has saved the Long Nights, people will stop trying to put Jampa in the zoo or offer him virgins in exchange for not razing the village! Virgins always want to braid Jampa and put ribbons on him. First they cry all day, then they fall in love with Jampa's gentle soul... always the same. But Jampa can't be tied down to sacrificial virgin. Jampa wants to play the field.
KABLOO: What did I say about martial classes? Attract Nubile Companion at 4th level, just like clockwork. It's an undocumented feature.
KABLOO: Hey, I've got one question before we load up the wagon, Klaus. How did you get your hands on that rod of jolly metamagic if we missed it in the post office?
KLAUS: It's an arcane principle called the Law of Conservation of Design... very esoteric. In essence, it states that if you fail to find some important treasure, it will tend to turn up again and again until you get it. In this case, the effect was so strong that it sent the rod all the way to the afterlife so that I could come back with it and fulfill my destiny here. Speaking of which, a similar law applies to monsters, so you had all better meet me here again next year... my arcane kenning tells me that the gods have a giant pile of unused monsters just waiting to kill us next holiday season. Ho ho ho... I can feel myself fading away! Good Long Nights to you all! Enjoy your gifts, and I'll see you next year!
The Crunch: Jolly Spell, the Rod of Jolly Metamagic, the Threefold Gift, and Bingle of Betelgeuse!
New Feat
Jolly Spell (Metamagic)
Your spells, no matter how destructive, are harmless and even pleasant to the righteous.
Your spells, no matter how destructive, are harmless and even pleasant to the righteous.
Prerequisite: good alignment
Benefit: You can alter a spell so that it inflicts no damage or other negative effects upon good-aligned creatures. Such creatures experience only a minor, pleasant effect from your spells; for example, a good creature might experience a pleasantly-scented breeze from a quickened gust of wind, while a jolly finger of death might feel like a playful poke.
Against targets with magically concealed alignments, you must make a caster level check (1d20 + your spellcaster level) against the concealing effect (DC 11+the CL of the effect). If you succeed, the metamagic works normally. If you fail, the metamagic treats the target according to its illusory alignment (or as a good creature, by default, if the target's alignment is undetectable).
This spell modifies only direct spell effects. It does not prohibit conjured objects from obstructing a good creature's movement, for example, nor does it prevent divination spells from revealing damaging information about them. Persistent effects like jolly entangle and jolly black tentacles do selectively avoid harming or impeding good creatures, however.
Level Increase: +2 (a jolly spell uses up a spell slot two levels higher than the spell's actual level)
New Wondrous Item
Metamagic Rod, Jolly
Aura strong (no school); CL 17th; Weight 5 lbs.
Price varies by specific type:
Lesser jolly metamagic rod 9,000 gp
Jolly metamagic rod 32,500 gp
Greater jolly metamagic rod 73,000 gp
Description
The wielder can cast up to three spells per day that affect creatures selectively as though using the Jolly Spell feat.
Aura strong (no school); CL 17th; Weight 5 lbs.
Price varies by specific type:
Lesser jolly metamagic rod 9,000 gp
Jolly metamagic rod 32,500 gp
Greater jolly metamagic rod 73,000 gp
Description
The wielder can cast up to three spells per day that affect creatures selectively as though using the Jolly Spell feat.
Construction Requirements
Craft Rod, Jolly Spell
Cost varies by specific type:
Lesser jolly metamagic rod 4,500 gp
Jolly metamagic rod 16,250 gp
Greater jolly metamagic rod 36,500 gp
Craft Rod, Jolly Spell
Cost varies by specific type:
Lesser jolly metamagic rod 4,500 gp
Jolly metamagic rod 16,250 gp
Greater jolly metamagic rod 36,500 gp
New Monster
Bingle of Betelgeuse CR 10
XP 9,600
NE Huge outsider (cold, native)
Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +20
Aura otherwordly cold (10 ft., DC 20)
DEFENSE
AC 25, touch 10, flat-footed 23 (+7 armor, +2 Dex, +8 natural, -2 size)
hp 136 (13d10+65)
Fort +13, Ref +8, Will +12
Immune cold; SR 21
Vulnerability fire
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft. (average)
Melee slam +17/+12/+7 (1d8+9)
Space 15 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Special Attacks snow job (+11 ranged touch, DC 20)
STATISTICS
Str 22, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 19, Wis 19, Cha 19
Base Atk +13; CMB +21; CMD 33
Feats Cleave, Cleaving Finish, Improved Cleaving Finish, Leadership, Lightning Reflexes, Paired Opportunists, Power Attack
Skills Bluff +17, Diplomacy +20, Fly +13, Intimidate +20, *Knowledge (arcana) +15, Knowledge (nature) +20, Knowledge (planes) +20, Perception +18, Sense Motive +19, Stealth +10 (+14 in snow), Survival +20; Racial Modifiers +4 to Stealth in snow
Languages Auran, Common, Goblin
SQ natural spellcasting, soul of winter
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Natural Spellcasting
Betelgeuse snowmen have a natural bond to their planet that permits them to cast spells as a druid with a level equal to the snowman's racial hit dice. This ability functions only on Bingle's homeworld, however, and so Bingle, as an exile, has no spellcasting ability. On his own world, Bingle would cast spells as a 13th level druid.
Otherworldly Cold (Su)
Any creature that starts its turn within 10 feet of Bingle must succed at a DC 20 Fortitude save or take 2d6 cold damage. The save DC is Constitution-based.
Snow Job (Su)
Once very 1d4 rounds, as a standard action, Bingle may spray a single creature within 30 ft. with enchanted snow. This is a ranged touch attack. If hit, the target must make a DC 20 Will save or be coated completely in snow and controlled by Bingle as by dominate monster. Dominated targets gain Cold Resistance 10 and the benefits of the Paired Opportunist Teamwork Feat for as long as they remain under Bingle's control. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Soul of Winter (Su)
When Bingle is slain, his body melts and his soul leaves to inhabit the nearest snowy region (an area up to several hundred square miles or as far as the cold terrain extends, whichever is smaller). Bingle can think and can perceive any area of the region as per commune with nature (CL 13th) while in this form, but cannot otherwise affect the world, even to communicate, except by responding to those who cast divination spells that permit contact by spirits. Bingle can re-form his body after 100 years of dormancy. Alternately, a true resurrection spell cast within his domain can form Bingle a new body and call his soul to inhabit it, effectively ending his dormancy.
GEAR
Starflight Suit
Bingle's starflight suit acts as +4 studded leather armor. It also enhances the natural spell resistance of a Betelgeuse snowman by 5 (bringing Bingle to a total SR of 21, as reflected in his stat block above). Finally, the wearer can survive in the void of outer space and gains the power to fly as a speed of 60 feet (as reflected in Bingle's stat block). The suit is capable of conferring starflight, but this function has been deliberately disabled, and it is beyond Bingle's means to repair.
Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft. (average)
Melee slam +17/+12/+7 (1d8+9)
Space 15 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Special Attacks snow job (+11 ranged touch, DC 20)
STATISTICS
Str 22, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 19, Wis 19, Cha 19
Base Atk +13; CMB +21; CMD 33
Feats Cleave, Cleaving Finish, Improved Cleaving Finish, Leadership, Lightning Reflexes, Paired Opportunists, Power Attack
Skills Bluff +17, Diplomacy +20, Fly +13, Intimidate +20, *Knowledge (arcana) +15, Knowledge (nature) +20, Knowledge (planes) +20, Perception +18, Sense Motive +19, Stealth +10 (+14 in snow), Survival +20; Racial Modifiers +4 to Stealth in snow
Languages Auran, Common, Goblin
SQ natural spellcasting, soul of winter
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Natural Spellcasting
Betelgeuse snowmen have a natural bond to their planet that permits them to cast spells as a druid with a level equal to the snowman's racial hit dice. This ability functions only on Bingle's homeworld, however, and so Bingle, as an exile, has no spellcasting ability. On his own world, Bingle would cast spells as a 13th level druid.
Otherworldly Cold (Su)
Any creature that starts its turn within 10 feet of Bingle must succed at a DC 20 Fortitude save or take 2d6 cold damage. The save DC is Constitution-based.
Snow Job (Su)
Once very 1d4 rounds, as a standard action, Bingle may spray a single creature within 30 ft. with enchanted snow. This is a ranged touch attack. If hit, the target must make a DC 20 Will save or be coated completely in snow and controlled by Bingle as by dominate monster. Dominated targets gain Cold Resistance 10 and the benefits of the Paired Opportunist Teamwork Feat for as long as they remain under Bingle's control. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Soul of Winter (Su)
When Bingle is slain, his body melts and his soul leaves to inhabit the nearest snowy region (an area up to several hundred square miles or as far as the cold terrain extends, whichever is smaller). Bingle can think and can perceive any area of the region as per commune with nature (CL 13th) while in this form, but cannot otherwise affect the world, even to communicate, except by responding to those who cast divination spells that permit contact by spirits. Bingle can re-form his body after 100 years of dormancy. Alternately, a true resurrection spell cast within his domain can form Bingle a new body and call his soul to inhabit it, effectively ending his dormancy.
GEAR
Starflight Suit
Bingle's starflight suit acts as +4 studded leather armor. It also enhances the natural spell resistance of a Betelgeuse snowman by 5 (bringing Bingle to a total SR of 21, as reflected in his stat block above). Finally, the wearer can survive in the void of outer space and gains the power to fly as a speed of 60 feet (as reflected in Bingle's stat block). The suit is capable of conferring starflight, but this function has been deliberately disabled, and it is beyond Bingle's means to repair.
The Gift
Threefold Gift (as inspired by Cassiodorus Patavinus on the Paizo forums)
Aura strong transmutation; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
The domed lid of this large, ornate silver pot can twist into three positions atop the lid; in each position, the inscriptions on the lid complete the design of the pot, albeit in a different way. When the lid lies in the first position, opening the pot reveals a mound of 1,650 gold pieces. Opening the pot with the lid in the second position reveals a pile of frankincense, while opening the pot with the lid in the third position reveals an ointment of myrrh. Each of the latter two items have special properties. A spellcaster who burns the frankincense and meditates within its vapor may regain either an already-cast spell (if the caster prepares spells) or an expended spell slot (if the caster casts spontaneously) of up to 5th level. The ointment of myrrh benefits the user as per blessing of courage and life, except that it lasts for up to an hour and heals 2d8+10 hp if the user expends the blessing.
Opening the pot expends 1 charge. A newly-created Threefold Gift has 3 charges. By inserting 10,000 gp into the pot and closing the lid, the user may expend the money to restore the pot's 3 charges. The pot may not hold more than 3 charges at once, and the user may restore charges only in increments of 3.
Construction Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, blessing of courage and life, major creation, mnemonic enhancer; Cost 5,000 gp
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