Door #12: The Tower, part 1
KLAUS: Look sharp, everyone. The stakes are higher tonight than even I suspected. I cast some divinations earlier today, and it seems that this "Bingle" is a tyrant from another world who actually intends to conquer here! When I fought him years ago, I assumed that he was just another cold terrain monster starved for level-appropriate opponents. Monsters get rather sparse out in the cold.
JAMPA: Funny hat man is right! Back home, Jampa saw same remorhaz and frost worm fighting dozens of times. Big worm things got so excited whenever they saw each other, Jampa always thought one day they would just make out instead of fighting.
KABLOO: No no no, Bingle's no battle-horny, brain-dead ice monster! He's been a spirit patron of the goblin tribes for centuries;he's the one who taught us about winter magic. Normal druidism is powerful, sure, but you have to wade through a lot of unicorns and dew drops to get to it. Bingle took the animals out of nature magic and replaced them with bitterness... really cracked the goblin market for druid powers. He's practically a local deity.
KLAUS: Well, I'm no slouch myself. I ruled for centuries here too, and with much better results. Say what you will about a toy-based economy, but measured in gross domestic rocking horse output, I think my results speak for themselves. Jampa, do you see anything in that window?
JAMPA: (sigh) All clear. But Jampa remains vigilant for evil space monster! Jampa can't wait to kill a bad guy for once! Jampa got into adventuring to be like knights and paladins in story; it was a rude awakening for Jampa when he found out it was nothing but killing bugs and rats and mold in old tombs.
KLAUS: What about zombies? Even as a beginner, you must have killed some of those.
JAMPA: Zombies are too dumb to be bad guys. Just want to tromp around and eat a lot, like big gross puppies. Jampa doesn't want to kill gross puppies! Jampa wants villainy!
KLAUS: Toddy, how about you? Are you in position?
TODDY: You mean down in the snow, where rogues belong? Under the heel of the MAN, is that what you mean? Sure am.
KLAUS: Sorry, but we're hoping for an ambush. You have to be hidden so you can lead with a sneak attack. And we need you hidden to protect the bag of holding, too! Bingle only needs to confront us to get the presents, so we have to have them consolidated and hidden.
TODDY: Look, I'm all for hiding in combat. I'd do it in every fight, start to finish, if I thought you'd still split me in on loot. But can't we do better than a melting elf-hole in the snow? This isn't stealth, it's wampa cuisine!
KLAUS: Shh, Toddy! I see movement on the horizon... I recognize the darkness, even if the physical body is new. He's here.
BINGLE: You are the human once called Nicholas. We met centuries ago. You're a shadow of that man now, while I've grown strong. I've learned to take on a body. Ever since my exile from Betelgeuse trapped me on this rock, I've been trying to reclaim the power I had in the ice kingdoms of my world. It took me many fruitless winters, but I've finally learned your secret: like your immortality, the Long Night gifts that your town produces come from the rejuvenating magic of the solstice. I've already claimed today's gift and the enchanted besom from yesterday; now I need only the gifts you've gathered and I can turn that magic to my own ends, transforming Canterbury Lane into the seat of a new northern empire!
JAMPA: Yes, Jampa loves it! Tell Jampa more about evil plans! Jampa will be right there to kill big snow monster! Keep doing bad guy talk!
BINGLE: Keep the hairy one away from me. I relish the slaughter of heroes... but the hairy one wants it too much.
TODDY: SNEAK ATTACK! Oh gods, that was worth the hypothermia! Not feeling so tough after a hit like that, are you? How did you ever get anybody to follow you?
BINGLE: I will show you.
A thick blast of snow jets from Bingle's hands, coating Toddy in thick snow and launching him headlong into the ground below!
JAMPA: Oh no! Little elf is not cursing! That is elf language for "I am dead!"
KABLOO: Ooh, no, it's even worse. I'd either kill him right now or back away. Well, let's be honest, we know what I'd do, but I'm presenting your options.
At Bingle's command, Toddy's frozen form tosses the bag of holding to Bingle, then rises and staggers menacingly toward Klaus!
KABLOO: Gyah, Bingle must have total control! There's not a cell in that greedy little heathen's body that would willingly hand over treasure, even to a deity.
KLAUS: Jampa, do something! We need room for casting.
JAMPA: See? Every time! Jampa was promised a villain, but now Jampa has to go push over an innocent little person like an unscrupulous carny.
JAMPA: Sorry, little elf! Fate is against Jampa. Next level, Jampa should take Favored Enemy: Friends. Hurry, caster friends! Little elf is wiry!
With one of their number already under Bingle's sway, and with their hard-won gifts in Bingle's possession, how will the three remaining adventurers prevail against the tyrant usurper of Canterbury Lane? Read the only-slightly-late conclusion in tomorrow's entry!
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