12 Doors of Christmas: Door #6

Door #6: The Strange House

After yesterday's hard-fought battle with an empty room, the four adventurers press on to a strange, abandoned residence for tonight's gift. Fortified--perhaps over-fortified--with the magical sources of endless fruitcake and eggnog that they earned yesterday, they approach this new challenge.

JAMPA: Uurgh, Jampa doesn't feel good. Ride is over, little snow man.
KABLOO: No! I'm not giving up my ride just because you've had your filthy chops buried in fruitcake all day! If you're sick, it's your own fault.
JAMPA: (sigh) Little snow man is right. Jampa thought he could eat endless fruitcake... but nobody can eat endless fruitcake. Jampa sees that now.
TODDY: But ya know who can drink endless eggnog? DO YA? THIS GUY!... sorry, I was gonna point to myself there, but I got distracted... tryin'a walk through the snow.... still think we shoulda brought that tavern... I mean, that tankard. (hic) I'm a little drunk.
KABLOO: What's wrong, Klaus, did you give yourself an eggnog headache too?
KLAUS: No, it's just that I sense magic beyond that door. I believe that this is a job for our scout.

TODDY: Yeah, Wedge, do your goddamn job! Poke your head in there and tell us what you see! (hic)

KER-KRACK!

TODDY: Ha, I scouted the hell out of that door! Now let's get this loot so we can...
JAMPA: What is it? What does little elf see?
TODDY: I... I don't know. Either I shouldn't have had so much eggnog today, or I shoulda had a whole lot more.

"NICHOLAS": MY NAME is Nicholas  I HAVE worn a red hat HO HO ho I LIVE here MAY I offer you the human nutrition YOU ARE an elf?

KABLOO: Gyah! What is it?
TODDY: Damned if I know, but whatever it is, I'm flanking it, just in case. Hopefully, it'll give us an excuse to kill it for bein' different.
KLAUS: Ah, excuse me, Mister...
"NICHOLAS": MY NAME is Nicholas IT IS true (DO NOT question me) MY HOUSE is striped with red and green inside for human holy days I COMPLIMENT your garments PLEASE SIT anywhere
KLAUS: No, thank you, Nicholas, we're just adventurers from a town nearby...
KABLOO: We're here on a quest, Nick. Really important adventurer stuff. Hell is literally going to open up and swallow you alive if we don't find all the pieces of the Magic Whatever, and part of it is in your house. So, have you seen a little gift box wrapped in shiny paper? 'Cause if not, we might as well start praying to the Prince of Lies right now.

"NICHOLAS": HERE IS the box you need IT IS floating across the room PAY NO ATTENTION to the mechanism of the floating SAY FELLOWS I surely enjoy the use of arms and legs
KLAUS: Wait, I know this creature! You're a googli, aren't you? And that means you've met the real Nicholas! Googlies are fey who impersonate dead and missing people, but always real people whom they've encountered. What can you tell us about Nicholas? He was the lord of Canterbury Lane, wasn't he? What happened to him?
"NICHOLAS": NO HUMAN I am the one called Nicholas BEHOLD MY hat I LOVE the children FEED ME beautiful children

JAMPA: No, flying present, Jampa can't open you now. Jampa has to wait for exposition to be over. Shh, Jampa knows, it is hard for Jampa, too. Love is patient, flying present.

TODDY: IT WAS REAL?! I thought those were just tall tales, but Nicholas was real, and this thing killed him? YOU BASTARD! My whole family's been starving in the snow in human ghettos since the old workshop days ended. YAAAH!
KLAUS: Toddy, wait, googlies are non-violent unless provoked--

SCHHHUNK!

TODDY: Barely scratched it... damn damage reduction.... (hic) damn eggnog....
KLAUS: Confound it, Toddy, now we've got to fight it. We were in parley!
GOOGLI: I AM Nicholas HAVE YOU come to steal the jelly in my belly NOW I MUST end you as I ended the reindeer
KLAUS: ...Then again, I suppose the total amount of drunk and crazy in this room could only have ended in an axe fight. Fate is fate.

GOOGLI: I AM Nicholas I AM Nicholas GET OUT of my house snowman YOU DO not belong indoors YOU ARE a snowman
KABLOO: Aargh, its googly eyes! Urk... Klaus! Help! It just worked some wretched googli mojo on me! I can feel it!

KLAUS: Its gaze can teleport you away and wipe your memory. That's how it makes people vanish. Just get out of harm's way and try to fight -- whoa!
GOOGLI: MOVE OUT of my doorway hairy biped I NICHOLAS am going for a walk QUICKLY HURRY I want to walk in snow THE SNOW is white and cold OBSERVE MY human motives
JAMPA: Stay back, beard ball! Jampa does not want to touch beard ball's puffy face, but Jampa will take one for the team if Jampa has to!

GOOGLI: STOP AXING elf I am your friend Nicholas NICHOLAS LOVES elves they make the childish amusement toys HO HO ho GO TO my workshop and whittle the soldier simulacra or you will vanish like the snowman SERVE ME I am jolly

TODDY: Damn my drunken, tripping feet, how come I never get to sneak up on anybody!? (hic) But now I'm flanking you anyway, so SNEAK ATTACK!

GOOGLI: THE SNEAK attack does not make sense I see you ELF WHY are you sneaking on the table I NICHOLAS see you when you are sleeping and when you are awake AND WHEN you are on the table elf

JAMPA: Is little elf hurting beard ball? Jampa can't get through with Jampa's claws!

KLAUS: Neither of you are doing much. It probably takes a cold iron weapon to hurt it. Magic Missile!... Spell resistance, too? Maybe we had better get Kabloo to safety and cut our losses....

NICHOLAS: PARDON ME elf you have swung your axe repeatedly NOW I Nicholas am swallowing you MY MAW is ensconced in human beard
TODDY: No! No! It's full of horrid slime and rainbows! I hate rainbows!
NICHOLAS: MMM MMM hmmm hm hmm MM MMM mm hmm hmmm

KLAUS: Well, we're not going anywhere now. Haste! Jampa, you're not hurting it, so just grab the present and get ready to run. I'll try to take it on myself. Suggestion!... curses! Spell resistance!

KABLOO: Spit Venom! Gya ha, right in the googly eyes! That's what you get for gazing at Kabloo!

JAMPA: Hurray! Little snow man is not vanished?

KABLOO: Hee hee, I'm a druid! I've got a Fortitude save of "Screw you, I'm awesome at this, too!"

KLAUS: Quick, while it's blind from the venom, we need to coordinate our spells! Jampa, you hold onto that present and get ready to run for it.

JAMPA: No, Jampa! Don't give in! Big hat man told you to watch the present, not to tear it open and squeal with joy! But what if it is something good? What if Jampa can use it to save little elf? Raah! Pressure is too much! What the hell, Jampa only lives once!

 

JAMPA: JAMPA GOT A SHINY METAL BUG!  Jampa will call him Herbie!

KLAUS: Jampa, this is no time for... wait, that's cold iron!

JAMPA: Huh? How does Jampa use it?

KABLOO: Heh, just do what comes naturally, Jampa. Aah, I can't wait to watch this.

JAMPA: LET LITTLE ELF GO, BEARD BALL!
GOOGLI: MM MMM?

JAMPA: JAMPA PUMMELS HARDER THAN JAMPA HAS EVER PUMMELED BEFORE! JAMPA PUMMELS FOR FRIENDSHIP!
GOOGLI: MMM! MMM MM!
KABLOO: Hee hee, the glee of physical violence! Sometimes I think I picked the wrong career. Then I kill someone with lightning, and I feel all better.

KLAUS: I think that's enough, Jampa. Its gone, the poor, dumb creature. Now let's just pry its mouth open...

TODDY: AAH! Keep back, all of you, I'm saving my body for the Snail Prince!

JAMPA: Eww, little elf is slimy!

KLAUS: It's just some residual dream glop. He'll keep hallucinating for a few more seconds. It's just a shame we couldn't have interrogated this thing. Such strange magic, this conjuration of Long Nights gifts... casters with that kind of power don't just disappear, nor does their magic.

KABLOO: Er... hey! Eyes forward, old man! We're out of doors on this side of the lake, so we'll have to cross over tomorrow. Don't you have planning to do?

KLAUS: Yes, you're right, of course. Let's get back to the tavern, everyone.

TODDY: (panting) Wait, it was... have I been hallucinating? (hic)

JAMPA: Yes, little elf was just covered in dream glop. But don't worry... someday little elf's Snail Prince will come.

The Crunch: The Googli, the Shy Googli and the Humbug Scarab

Is it perfectly obvious that I love the googli? Because I do. Googlies come in two forms, the one that you see in the story above and the "shy googli," which appears in its own stat block after the main entry.

New Monster

A spongy white sphere with strange, lifeless eyes bobs in the air, a glimmer of rainbow sludge just visible through its perfectly round, lipless mouth. Paper-like imitations of hair, beard, and cap give it a mockery of humanoid appearance.

Googli CR 8

XP 4,800

N Large Fey
Init +5; Senses low-light vision; Perception +7
----- Defense -----

AC 20, touch 15, flat-footed 14 (+5 Dex, +1 dodge, +5 natural, -1 size)
hp 91 (14d6+42)
Fort +8, Ref +14, Will +7 

Defensive Abilities invisibility; DR 10/cold iron; SR 19 

----- Offense -----

Speed fly 30 ft. (perfect)   

Melee Bite +10 touch (grab)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Special Attacks googli eyes, swallow whole (dream glop, AC 12, 9 hp)
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 10th; concentration +12)
At will—unseen servant, faerie fire
1/day—color spray (DC 14)
----- Statistics -----
Str 18, Dex 20, Con 14, Int 5, Wis 7, Cha 15
Base Atk +7; CMB +12 (+16 grapple); CMD 27 (can't be tripped)
Feats Dodge, Disorienting Maneuver, Great Fortitude, Mobility, Quicken Spell-Like Ability, Spell Focus (illusion), Toughness
Skills Acrobatics +14, Bluff +0, Fly +11, Perception +7, Stealth +11, Use Magic Device +16; Racial Modifiers -2 Bluff
Languages Sylvan and usually others (see Steal Identity)
SQ dream glop, incarnate spirit, steal identity
----- Ecology -----
Environment Any
Organization solitary, party (3-5) or plague (10-15 plus an equal number of shy googlies)
Treasure standard
----- Special Abilities -----
Dream Glop (Ex) A googli can swallow a single Medium-sized or smaller target with its smooth, toothless mouth. When swallowed, the target is covered in a viscous, shimmering goo that fills the googli's body. At the beginning of each turn inside, the target must succeed at a DC 19 Will save or become confused for 2d4 rounds. A googli knows when its dream glop has taken effect and usually releases a target who has become confused. This is a mind-affecting effect.
Googli Eyes (Su) Three times per day, a googli can direct its alien gaze at a single target in an effort to make it vanish. The target must succeed at a DC 19 Fortitude save or begin to vanish, visibly contorting and "imploding" into a pinhole in space. One round later, an affected target must succeed at a DC 19 Fortitude save or become helpless and immobile as she becomes trapped in the pinhole. One round after that, the target must make a DC 19 Fortitude save or teleport to an unobserved location 1d6x100 miles away in a random direction. Success at any of these 3 saves ends the effect harmlessly.
After teleportation, the target must succeed at a DC 19 Will save or develop amnesia. See the amnesia insanity for details. This is a mind-affecting compulsion effect.
Incarnate Spirit (Ex) A googli does not age eat, sleep or breathe.
Invisibility (Su) A googli can become invisible at will. This effect has un unlimited duration, but otherwise functions as the invisibility spell.
Steal Identity (Su) A googli can steal the identity of any humanoid whom it has observed within the past hour. The googli retains its color and spherical shape, but takes on clearly artificial versions of the target's superficial physical traits, such as eyelashes, facial hair and headgear. The googli learns the name of the target, the names of her close relations and hometown, and fluency in all languages that the target spoke. Knowingly confronting a googli with the person whose identity it has stolen (or that person's remains) ends the effect immediately and turns the googli into a shy googli. A googli forced from its identity cannot use steal identity again for 1 year.
When a googli steals a new identity, it loses all knowledge gained from previously stolen identities. Steal identity is not an attack and therefore does not end a googli's invisibility.

A googli begins its existence as a "shy googli," an invisible and immaterial spirit that simply watches groups of humanoids, sometimes for years at a time. A shy googli's goal, however, is to replace a humanoid and become solid by using its steal identity ability. Shy googlies wait to replace humanoids who have died or vanished mysteriously, as a googli who encounters the humanoid it "replaced" converts back into a shy googli and cannot resolidify for a full year.
Once a googli has stolen an identity, it plays the part as best it can, attempting to ingratiate itself to the target's friends. As part of its disguise, a googli often claims the gear of whomever it replaces, employing its Use Magic Device skill to use it, if necessary. However, googlies are dim-witted, do not understand humanoid cultures, and take on only an extremely crude approximation of their victims' appearance. A googli's clumsy attempts at disguise always fail, often striking humanoids as humorous or unsettling.
Googlis use their googli eyes ability to "vanish" humanoids for other shy googlis to replace. Shy googlis often congregate around a solid googli to take advantages of the disappearances it causes; scholars do not know whether these shy googlies somehow sense the opportunity and travel from nearby areas, or spontaneously appear where an identity is stolen.
A googli fights only in self-defense. It first uses its googli eyes to banish attackers, resorting to its swallow whole ability only against persistent melee combatants. When threatened with destruction, a googli uses quickened color spray to slow down its enemies, then flies away to flee invisibly.

Invisible and immaterial, the strange spirit floats soundlessly, waiting with inscrutable purpose. 
Googli, Shy CR 5
XP 1,600
N Large Fey
Init +5; Senses low-light vision,; Perception +7
----- Defense -----
AC 16, touch 16, flat-footed 10 (+5 Dex, +1 deflection, +1 dodge, -1 size)
hp 63 (14d6+14)
Fort +6, Ref +14, Will +7
Defensive Abilities natural invisibility; SR 16
----- Offense -----
Speed fly 30 ft. (perfect)
Melee none
Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 10th; concentration +9)
At will—faerie fire
1/day—color spray (DC 11)
----- Statistics -----
Str --, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 5, Wis 7, Cha 9
Base Atk +7; CMB +13; CMD 23 (can't be tripped)
Feats Dodge, Disorienting Maneuver, Great Fortitude, Mobility, Quicken Spell-Like Ability, Spell Focus (illusion), Toughness
Skills Acrobatics +14, Bluff -3, Fly +11, Perception +7, Stealth +11, Use Magic Device +13; Racial Modifiers -2 Bluff
Languages Sylvan
SQ incarnate spirit, incorporeal, steal identity
----- Ecology -----
Environment Any
Organization solitary or plague (10-15 plus an equal number of googlies)
Treasure none
----- Special Abilities -----
Incarnate Spirit (Ex) A shy googli does not age, eat, sleep or breathe.
Natural Invisibility (Ex) This ability is constant—the shy googli remains invisible at all times, even when attacking. As this ability is inherent, it is not subject to the invisibility purge spell.
Steal Identity (Su) A googli can steal the identity of any humanoid whom it has observed within the past hour. The googli retains its color and spherical shape, but takes on clearly artificial versions of the target's superficial physical traits, such as eyelashes, facial hair and headgear. The googli learns the name of the target, the names of her close relations and hometown, and fluency in all languages that the target spoke. Knowingly confronting a googli with the person whose identity it has stolen (or that person's remains) ends the effect immediately and turns the googli into a shy googli. A googli forced from its identity cannot use steal identity again for 1 year.

The Gift

 

Humbug Scarab
Aura faint abjuration; CL 5th 

Slot neck; Price 7,300 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description

This cold iron amulet bears the image of a humbug, a legendary insect predator of small fey. It grants the wearer a +2 resistance bonus on saves against the magic of fey creatures and a +2 morale bonus against charms, compulsions and spell effects with the emotion descriptor. Furthermore, once per day for 5 minutes, the wearer may transfer the antimagical qualities of the cold iron amulet to a single weapon that the wearer currently wields. That weapon counts as cold iron for purposes of penetrating damage reduction for the duration of the effect, but only when the wearer of the humbug scarab wields it.

Construction Requirements

Craft Wondrous Item, protection from chaos, versatile weapon; Cost 3,650 gp