12 Doors of Christmas, year 2: Door #1

Door #1: Old Man Krudnik's House

 The Long Nights, those beloved winter festivals, have come again for Canterbury, but much has changed since last year's holidays! Last year, all was quiet, all was white, and gleaming icicles reached gracefully from the abandoned eaves... the place was a real shit-hole back then. Now, garish garlands festoon every festoonable surface, and the shrill trill of elfsong dances in the winter wind!

Following a long exile to factory work and heavy drinking, the Hyperborean elves have returned, to work once again under their patron Nicholas, who rid Canterbury of its monsters and restarted its booming, magic-based economy last year. Oh, what a grand, amateurishly-lit adventure it was! 

Now, the syrupy sweetness of life in Canterbury has washed away those bitter memories for these pathologically-happy elves; the magical gifts have begun to appear again, one per night, just as in the Long Nights of the happy past. But for Officer Jack, a hard-boiled Crime Scene Elf in a jaunty green hat, and his trainee, Brandy, the first day of the Long Nights has just turned... deadly!

OFFICER JACK: Dadblast it, Brandy, I've been doing this job for 50 years, and I've never seen a ding-dong tragedy like this. Old Man Krupnik gets the first magic gift of the Long Nights, he's all smiles, and then he gets murdered for it on his own doorstep by some sick son-of-a-biscuit.
BRANDY: Sir, language!
OFFICER JACK: I'll use whatever cockadoody language I like, lady! I'm up to my ruddy cheeks in paperwork over this, nobody saw the perp, and I've got no leads on how he escaped! Now, let's get this place cordoned off before that goldarn yeti turns up–

 Suddenly, the goldarn yeti turns up!

JAMPA: Don't worry little elves! Detective Jampa is on the case!

OFFICER JACK: (sigh) You know, "Detective," I think I've got this case under control. I'll probably solve it even if you don't crawl into the evidence and stick your big wet nose into... and there he goes.

JAMPA: (sniff sniff) Hmm... smells like blood. Probably elf blood, judging by boozy smell. Jampa recommends keeping open flames away from crime scene. One spark, elf blood goes up like peppermint gasoline.
OFFICER JACK: Elf blood, huh? Makes sense, since our victim was an elf, but I needed a untrained civilian to snort it before I could be sure.

KABLOO: Eyes up, everyone! I'm Kabloo, this is my associate, Toddy, and Nicholas deputized us to clean up this mess. I need you to form two groups: people with clues to give us, and people handing me coffee.
JAMPA: What?! This case is Jampa's baby! Detective Jampa is taking this to the Commissioner!

TODDY: What's the story, Jack?
OFFICER JACK: Some kind of motherfudging maniac showed up early this morning and murdered Old Man Krupnik–he got the first Long Nights gift yesterday.
BRANDY: Nobody saw the perp, and I've been wracking my brain all morning trying to figure out how he escaped the scene.
TODDY: Tracking's not my department. They booted me from ranger school when Ferret Protective Services took my animal companion away. I know a thing or two about thieving, though, and this scene looks like the Old Man was holding out; somebody was trying to beat that present out of him, and he wasn't budging. Go take a look around the house, and I bet two jugs of premium ferret milk you find that gift.

 One Perception check later....

OFFICER JACK: Cheese & crackers, look at this! They killed the old buzzard, and he still didn't tell 'em where the gift was. He musta been a real badbutt.

BRANDY: I'll let the station know we're coming in with evidence. If our perp was willing to kill for this, we'll want to keep it safe.

KABLOO: Gya ha, an excellent point! And, as deputies of Nicholas, I'm sure His Mightiness would want us to keep this evidence safe ourselves, in case we need to examine it further, or sell it for fancy jewelry. You two don't worry your flabby little cherub faces about it. We're on the case.
BRANDY: You'll need to write us a voucher for that.
KABLOO: Why give you a worthless voucher when you have my worthless word? We're all friends here! Now do all the paperwork while we walk away.

JAMPA: Hurray, a dramatic walk-away! Jampa must look so cool from behind right now.
TODDY: So, we head back to Nicholas's tower to clue him in and raid the guest room mini-bar?
KABLOO: Hmmm... no, I have a better idea. With Jampa back on the team for muscle- and nose-based tasks, we can take care of this ourselves. Let's hole up in the tavern, stake out the town until the second gift appears, then bust the killer when he tries to steal it.
TODDY: I do love a good tavern... they're like mini-bars that you can sleep in. Comfortably, I mean. Whaddya say, Jampa? You in for an all-night stake-out?
JAMPA: Detective Jampa thought you would never ask! Little deputies can braid Jampa's mane and talk about boys!
TODDY: I'm not touching that tangled shit.
JAMPA: Deputy Elf is off the force!

OFFICER JACK: I'm too old for this fluffernutter.
BRANDY: Sir!

The Crunch: The Turtledove Teapot

Today's gift is a simple wondrous item for helping a pair of particularly close characters to work together more effectively. It's ideal for avoiding that awkward moment when the wizard charms you into stabbing your boyfriend.

Teapot, Turtledove 

Aura moderate enchantment; CL 9th

Slot none; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description

A brightly-colored painting of paired turtledoves adorns the side of this red and green ceramic teapot. By sharing tea from this pot over a half-hour, two users may attune their minds, permitting them to aid each other in feats of focus and serenity. The teapot is usable once per day

After sharing tea from the turtledove teapot, the two users’ souls remain linked for a single day, granting them the following benefits so long as they are no more than 500 feet apart:

First, as an immediate action, either user may grant the other a +2 insight bonus to a concentration check, a saving throw against an emotion effect, or any roll that she has already successfully assisted using the aid another action. After granting such a bonus, the user is dazed until the end of her next turn.

Secondly, either user may transfer hit points to the other as an immediate action. Neither user may receive more than her character level in hit points by this means in a single day, nor may either user exceed her normal hit point maximum.

Finally, the users refuse to harm or oppose each other as a result of charm and emotion effects. The users have no special resistance to compulsion effects.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, calm emotions, owl’s wisdom, shield other; Cost 5,000 gp