Door #7: The Lakehouse
KLAUS: Now, Kabloo, when we all met, we agreed to do this for the treasure. But don't we have plenty already? We've got over 10,000 gp apiece here, and the monsters are getting tougher. I don't want to see someone--maybe all of us--die just because you and I have a caster crush on this Nicholas gentleman.
JAMPA: Let Jampa cross the pond! Look, big wooden lake house is glowing! Ooh, what could the present be? Could be boring books, big hat man! Or could be magic hat of self-control, little elf friend! Could be anything! LET'S GO LET'S GO!
TODDY: I'm with Klaus. This place isn't rogue-friendly; we're lucky we've made it this far. I say split the loot and get out.
KABLOO: So, we're tied. Do we stand here and watch the yeti drool all night while the gift fades away, or is somebody going to budge?
KLAUS: ... Very well. If we're all prepared to take the risk, let's cross the pond. I am terribly curious about what's in that tower....
JAMPA: Maybe Jampa is crazy, but why can't Jampa just walk around the pond? Jampa is just spitballing, here.
KABLOO: Keep your spitballs to yourself. All the stories say that you've got to stay on Canterbury Lane through the whole Long Nights festival to keep the presents coming. If you go around the pond, you'll be out of bounds.
JAMPA: Raah, stupid rules! Why do wizards always make problems for Jampa?
KABLOO: Because where normal people keep their rational motivations and sense of proportion, wizards keep a little gland in their brains that gives them OCD and wish spells.
KLAUS: Ahem. The ice seems solid. Shall we proceed, or would someone without an Acererak gland like to check my work?
KABLOO: Ah, a walk on the ice on the 7th Long Night! Tomorrow is Tree-Trimming Night in Gobstop, so they must be laying the dryad traps right about now... How will I ever get to sleep tonight without all the screaming?
TODDY: Me, I'm looking forward to the silence. Everybody sings in Tipsytown. All year long, all day long, it's nothing but sweet little ditties warbled in high-pitched elven. It's like listening to a bunch of really articulate parrots raiding a liquor cabinet. And then, just when you think it can't get any more ear-splitting, here come the Long Nights, and everybody's relatives show up to join the diabetes chorus. I'd rather have a cold floor and trench foot any day.
Suddenly, six cubes of frozen, translucent ooze emerge from the solid ice as easily as from a pool of water, cutting off Klaus from his allies and sliding menacingly toward him!
KLAUS: What the--?! Help! I'm being attacked by... ice... somethings!
JAMPA: Ice pops! Jampa learned about them from yeti elders when just a teen-age yeti. Eating delicious-sounding oozes is leading cause of yeti death. Education is very important.
TODDY: We've got more coming in, too! I'm doing some damage with Wedge, but the cold's starting to get to me. Damn-- I picked the wrong day to go off of the magical eggnog.
A sliding ice pop crashes into Toddy, bowling him over! Immediately, the ice pop slides over the fallen elf, pinning him to the unforgiving ice.
JAMPA: Ice pop is engulfing Toddy!
KABLOO: Sure, "engulf!" Just like that bugbear who tried to "engulf" me when I was in prison.
KLAUS: Kabloo, Jampa's got his hands full and I'm trapped. You've got to help Toddy! Can't you use your ice affinity to free him?
KABLOO: What do you want me to do, give it the secret ice handshake? Call in some ice favors? It's a force of nature, not a rotary club! Here, I'll whip up a distraction and we can get to the lake house. March of Penguins!
Kabloo's druid magic conjures a band of penguins in the snow; looking confused but determined, they march into the distance, luring half of the mindless ice pops to give chase!
KABLOO: All right, the elf's free, but I need to get him off the ice in a hurry. He's such an easy target out here that I'm feeling urges to freeze him to death.
KLAUS: Kabloo!
KABLOO: What? Look at him! He's begging to be engulfed! 
KABLOO: Wait, we can figure this out, Klaus!
KLAUS: No! I've got 6 hp left; it's like being first level again! And if there's one thing being a first level wizard teaches you, it's to drop your big spell and help the party before your inevitable demise! Tell Toddy "thank you" for bringing me in on this adventure... and tell Jampa not to eat oozes. (Honestly, I knew a yeti who ate an ochre jelly and then jumped off a building, thinking he'd split. And split doesn't even work on bludgeoning damage. Very sad.)
A conflagration of steam and spray dissolves the ice pops along with the pond surface as Klaus hurls a fireball at his own feet! His remains sink with those of the decimated oozes through the broken ice and into the freezing waters below. Minutes later...
JAMPA: Jampa found the present inside. Is little elf okay?
TODDY: You bet! I got my ass kicked, we lost Klaus, and now after getting somebody killed for them, we're probably too short-handed to get the rest of the gifts anyway. Little elf is fantastic, Jampa! It's Little Elf's Big Damn Adventure over here!
KABLOO: Gyah, the pond's refrozen already. He's not coming back. And we can't even get the body... Stupid wizard! Why didn't he just cast fly or dimension door? You've got a whole spell list to help squishies survive, and you prepare fireball!
TODDY: Not every caster makes a plan to ditch the party at the first opportunity. If he'd flown off, we'd probably all be red smears on the ice by now--me and Jampa for sure. Come to think of it, I should have been dead well before the fireball. How'd I survive that ice pop humping me to death, anyway?
KABLOO: Er... penguins. Some penguins showed up. Just your lucky day, I guess. Stupid elf.
The Crunch: Ice Pops and The Mouse King's Bane
March of penguins is a new druid spell, but although it debuted today, I won't be writing it up until the next time it appears, for reasons that will become clear then. For now, here are the ice pops and today's (extremely cool and pricey) gift, The Mouse King's Bane, courtesy of DankeSean on the Paizo forums.
New Monster
Ice Pop (small) CR 2N Small ooze (cold)
Init –1; Senses blindsight 60 ft., heat sense 60 ft., tremorsense 30 ft.; Perception –5
DEFENSE
AC 14, touch 9, flat-footed 14 (–1 Dex, +4 natural, +1 size)
hp 17 (2d8+8)
Fort +4, Ref -1, Will –5
Immune cold, ooze traits
Weaknesses vulnerable to fire
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.
Melee slam +4 (1d3+3 plus 2d6 cold and heat drain)
Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Special Attacks engulf (DC 13, 2d6 cold and heat drain), heat drain
STATISTICS
Str 15, Dex 8, Con 18, Int —, Wis 1, Cha 1
Base Atk +1; CMB +2; CMD 11 (can't be tripped)
Skills Stealth +3 (+11 in icy or snowy terrain)
SQ combine, heat sense, hold breath, ice meld
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Combine (Ex)
As a standard action, when one small ice pop is adjacent to seven others, all eight small ice pops may combine into a single large ice pop. The newly-formed large ice pop uses the the large ice pop statistics. It forms with hit points equal to the total hit points of the constituent small ice pops. Combining is a standard action for each participating ice pop.
Engulf (Ex)
An ice pop does not actually engulf its target, but pins it and drains its heat. Therefore, a creature "engulfed" by an ice pop is not in danger of suffocation.
Heat Drain (Ex)
An ice pop that inflicts cold damage with its slam attack or upon an engulfed opponent recovers half as much damage as it inflicts, up to its maximum hit points.
Heat Sense (Ex)
An ice pop can pinpoint any source of heat (including nearly any living creature) within 60 ft. so long as it has line of effect. An ice pop senses the approximate temperature of any heat source it detects.
Hold Breath (Ex)
An ice pop can hold its breath for 108 minutes. Ice pops use this ability to travel underwater or beneath the ice in search of prey.
Ice Meld (Ex)
An ice pop can move with a climb speed and burrow speed equal to its land speed, but only on or within snow and ice. When burrowing using this ability, an ice pop can pass through ice and snow as easily as a fish swims through water. Its burrowing leaves behind no tunnel or hole, nor does it create any ripple or other sign of its presence.
Ice Pop (large) CR 8
N Large ooze (cold)
Init –3; Senses blindsight 60 ft., heat sense 60 ft., tremorsense 30 ft.; Perception –5
DEFENSE
AC 13, touch 6, flat-footed 13 (–3 Dex, +7 natural, -1 size)
hp 136 (16d8+64)
Fort +10, Ref +2, Will +0
Immune cold, ooze traits
Weaknesses vulnerable to fire
OFFENSE
Speed 40 ft., swim 40 ft.
Melee slam +13 (1d6+3 plus 10d6 cold and heat drain)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Special Attacks engulf (DC 20, 10d6 cold and heat drain), heat drain
STATISTICS
Str 15, Dex 4, Con 20, Int —, Wis 1, Cha 1
Base Atk +12; CMB +15 (+19 to grapple); CMD 23 (can't be tripped)
Skills Stealth -1 (+7 in icy or snowy terrain)
SQ combine, heat sense, hold breath, ice meld
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Combine (Ex)
As a standard action, when one large ice pop is adjacent to seven others, all eight large ice pops may combine into a single gargantuan ice pop. The newly-formed large ice pop uses the the large ice pop statistics. It forms with hit points equal to the total hit points of the constituent small ice pops. Combining is a standard action for each participating ice pop.
Engulf (Ex)
An ice pop does not actually engulf its target, but pins it and drains its heat. Therefore, a creature "engulfed" by an ice pop is not in danger of suffocation.
Heat Drain (Ex)
An ice pop that inflicts cold damage with its slam attack or upon an engulfed opponent recovers half as much damage as it inflicts, up to its maximum hit points.
Heat Sense (Ex)
An ice pop can pinpoint any source of heat (including nearly any living creature) within 60 ft. so long as it has line of effect. An ice pop senses the approximate temperature of any heat source it detects.
Hold Breath (Ex)
An ice pop can hold its breath for two hours. Ice pops use this ability to travel underwater or beneath the ice in search of prey.
Ice Meld (Ex)
An ice pop can move with a climb speed and burrow speed equal to its land speed, but only on or within snow and ice. When burrowing using this ability, an ice pop can pass through ice and snow as easily as a fish swims through water. Its burrowing leaves behind no tunnel or hole, nor does it create any ripple or other sign of its presence.
The Gift
The Mouse King's Bane (courtesy of DankeSean on the Paizo forums)Aura moderate evocation and illusion; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 38,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This small, brightly painted wooden soldier has a hinged jaw connected to a lever in its back. When a gemstone worth at least 100 gp is placed in its mouth and a standard action used to press the lever, the gem is crushed and destroyed. Immediately thereafter, a attractive young human soldier appears within ten feet of the user. While seemingly living, this soldier is an illusion and cannot be physically interacted with.
If an animal or vermin swarm is within 100 feet, the soldier moves towards it with a speed of 60 feet, attempting to position itself within one of the swarm's squares. It likewise attempts to move with the swarm as necessary. While the image persists, it counts as a target for any damaging spell requiring targets, and is AC 10 for purposes of rays or any other touch spells. When struck by a spell, the image draws its sword and lashes out at the swarm around it, its blade flickering with radiance. In so doing, the spell is redirected upon the swarm as though it had an area of effect. This damage only affects the swarm; it does not create an actual area effect and no other creatures are harmed by it.
The duration of the soldier is dependent upon the value of the gem used to summon it. It remains for one round per 100 gp of the gem, or until it has redirected one spell level per 100 gp value. If targeted by a higher level spell than it has remaining value, it vanishes without redirecting the spell.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Selective Spell, silent image, spectral hand; Cost 16,000 gp
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