12 Doors of Christmas: Door #12, part II

Door #12: The Tower (part II)

The last of the Long Nights has fallen on Canterbury Lane. Four unlikely heroes who first sought only treasure here now fight a monster from the stars for control of the Lane's potent magic. With labor, luck, and extra-large helpings of deus ex machina, they have gathered the Lane's magical gifts and nearly won the day, only to have them stolen at the last moment by Bingle, who now floats at the brink of mastering the Hyperborean north. Already, one of their number, the thieving and boozy Toddy, has fallen under Bingle's control, and the holiday mood grows grim as the others wonder who will be next.

 

BINGLE: End your resistance, human! And you, goblin, you know my power! My starflight suit is proof against your pitiful spells, and the gifts of Canterbury Lane are now mine to-- wait, what pathetic trick is this? This bag holds only nine gifts! Even with the two I hold, one remains missing. WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN IT?!
KLAUS: Ho ho ho! The set isn't complete -- we missed a gift in the post office!
KABLOO: Hee hee, yes! Our incompetence is the one secret weapon you can never take from us!
KLAUS: Speaking of secret weapons, JOLLY BLACK TENTACLES!

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #12, part I

Door #12: The Tower, part 1

KLAUS: Look sharp, everyone. The stakes are higher tonight than even I suspected. I cast some divinations earlier today, and it seems that this "Bingle" is a tyrant from another world who actually intends to conquer here! When I fought him years ago, I assumed that he was just another cold terrain monster starved for level-appropriate opponents. Monsters get rather sparse out in the cold.

JAMPA: Funny hat man is right! Back home, Jampa saw same remorhaz and frost worm fighting dozens of times. Big worm things got so excited whenever they saw each other, Jampa always thought one day they would just make out instead of fighting.

KABLOO: No no no, Bingle's no battle-horny, brain-dead ice monster! He's been a spirit patron of the goblin tribes for centuries;he's the one who taught us about winter magic. Normal druidism is powerful, sure, but you have to wade through a lot of unicorns and dew drops to get to it. Bingle took the animals out of nature magic and replaced them with bitterness... really cracked the goblin market for druid powers. He's practically a local deity.

KLAUS: Well, I'm no slouch myself. I ruled for centuries here too, and with much better results. Say what you will about a toy-based economy, but measured in gross domestic rocking horse output, I think my results speak for themselves. Jampa, do you see anything in that window?

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #11

Day #11: Boiler Room

It is 6:00 pm, theoretically Jampa's turn at watch and time for our two smallest protagonists to rest up for a night's adventuring. However, worrying thumps from the roof have disrupted their rest, and now result in the emergence of a surly snowman and a haggard Hyperborean elf from the lake house's upstairs window...

TODDY: What the HELL is going on out on this roof? Is it a knife-fight? Must be a goddamn EPIC, because I've HAD knife-fights on rooftops, and they weren't as GODDAMN loud as whatever the HELL you two are doing!
KLAUS: Pardon the noise, Toddy. I just finished identifying the treasure from that owl you killed, so I came up here to check on Jampa. He spotted the glow of today's present at the boiler room attached to the tower! I'm afraid we got a little excited.
KABLOO: Wait, what? I heard "treasure" and I stopped caring about everything else you had to say.
KLAUS: Yes, of course, we're all adventurers. First things first. The owl had a magic rifle, a pouch of jingle bells, the body of a little defunct golem, and some kind of horrible woolen garment. Just trifles, really. Speaking of treasure, though, I've got a question for you all. Do you want to keep on these next two days, or would you like to take your cut of the loot and go home?
TODDY: Hold on, I thought this was a quest now. Don't we have to get all the gifts for some kind of bullshit wizard reason?
KLAUS: I officially pronounce you all free from "wizard reasons." The gifts are part of a magical effect that can replace me if I'm gone, but I'm not gone -- not any more -- so they're not plot devices as far as you're concerned, just loot.
TODDY: But what about the... the monsters in the tower?
KABLOO: Oh, you mean the SPACE MONSTERS?
KLAUS: They're snow creatures from the winter stars... dangerous, certainly, but they're my problem. You're welcome to come along, but only if you want the last couple of gifts.

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #10

Door #10: The Hotel

After a day of spilling his goblin guts about his plan to achieve vast magical powers, Kabloo's allies remain dubious about his claims...

 

TODDY:  Okay, here's the plan for the hotel, guys. You two keep a look-out. I'm gonna go to the counter, give them our reservation, and ask whether anybody left infinite power at the desk for us.
KABLOO: Gyah, this is infuriating! I break down and tell you the secret of infinite power--violating my goblin ethics against helping people--and you mock me! Well, good! I'll take all the infinite power, and you two can suck it!
JAMPA: But Jampa doesn't want to suck it....
KABLOO: You will be made to suck it! That's what infinite power is for!

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #9

Door #9: Lake House (Upstairs)

 

TODDY: What, are you trying to take 40 on your search over there? Get a move on, Kabloo!

KABLOO: Don't rush me! I'm sure there's something living up here! It's coming and going at night...  scuttling around... watching us... planning our demise!

TODDY: You get that just from the scuttling, do you?

KABLOO: Well, that's what I would do if I were trying to kill us. Bah, fine, let's go inside! Obviously, this is some wretched creature that likes to jump out and scare you before it kills you. (Again, like I do.)

JAMPA: Ha ha, PRESENTS! But Jampa hopes scuttling thing really does want to kill us. Jampa doesn't like to kill harmless rats for treasure. First level was a sad time for Jampa.

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #8

Door #8: Lake House (Kitchen)

KABLOO: ... so this cretin--ha ha--he thinks, "How can I cut my own head off and put this thing on the stump?" Well--hee hee-- he decides to summon a bunch of carnivorous apes, and he just gives the apes his scimitar, and tells them--HA HA HO!-- he tells the apes to CUT HIS HEAD OFF!
JAMPA: Oh no! Did dumb druid get magical powers?
KABLOO: No, that's the point, it-- HEE HEE HEE-- it was JUST SOME POOR SLOB'S SEVERED HEAD! IT WASN'T MAGICAL AT ALL! HO HO HAA HA HA! (gasp) So now there's this decapitated body and TWO HEADS on the ground--HAAA HA-- hee hee-- AND THESE CONFUSED-LOOKING APES JUST STANDING AROUND WITH A SCIMITAR-- HA HA HA HA!
JAMPA: Jampa doesn't understand why little snow man is laughing. This is serious! Flesh-eating gorillas are about to get super lich powers! Jampa is very concerned.
KABLOO: Bah, nevermind. -- heh heh-- Yeti just don't have a taste for decapitation jokes like goblins do. It's your loss.

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #7

Door #7: The Lakehouse

KABLOO: "GO HOME?!" What do you mean, "go home?!" I didn't miss the opening of the Long Nights festival back in Gobstop to walk down half of Canterbury Lane! I missed the pony rides, the pony toss and the Great Pony Feast!
KLAUS: Now, Kabloo, when we all met, we agreed to do this for the treasure. But don't we have plenty already? We've got over 10,000 gp apiece here, and the monsters are getting tougher. I don't want to see someone--maybe all of us--die just because you and I have a caster crush on this Nicholas gentleman.
JAMPA: Let Jampa cross the pond! Look, big wooden lake house is glowing! Ooh, what could the present be? Could be boring books, big hat man! Or could be magic hat of self-control, little elf friend! Could be anything! LET'S GO LET'S GO!
TODDY: I'm with Klaus. This place isn't rogue-friendly; we're lucky we've made it this far. I say split the loot and get out.
KABLOO: So, we're tied. Do we stand here and watch the yeti drool all night while the gift fades away, or is somebody going to budge?
KLAUS: ... Very well. If we're all prepared to take the risk, let's cross the pond. I am terribly curious about what's in that tower....

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #6

Door #6: The Strange House

After yesterday's hard-fought battle with an empty room, the four adventurers press on to a strange, abandoned residence for tonight's gift. Fortified--perhaps over-fortified--with the magical sources of endless fruitcake and eggnog that they earned yesterday, they approach this new challenge.

JAMPA: Uurgh, Jampa doesn't feel good. Ride is over, little snow man.
KABLOO: No! I'm not giving up my ride just because you've had your filthy chops buried in fruitcake all day! If you're sick, it's your own fault.
JAMPA: (sigh) Little snow man is right. Jampa thought he could eat endless fruitcake... but nobody can eat endless fruitcake. Jampa sees that now.
TODDY: But ya know who can drink endless eggnog? DO YA? THIS GUY!... sorry, I was gonna point to myself there, but I got distracted... tryin'a walk through the snow.... still think we shoulda brought that tavern... I mean, that tankard. (hic) I'm a little drunk.
KABLOO: What's wrong, Klaus, did you give yourself an eggnog headache too?
KLAUS: No, it's just that I sense magic beyond that door. I believe that this is a job for our scout.

Almost There....

Shooting Interiors is Hard!

Shooting took a little longer than expected today, which is why Day #6 is late. Expect it up before Thursday afternoon, along with the regularly-scheduled (and already shot) Day #7 entry. To tide you over, here's a shot from Day #6... and just wait until you see the monster write-up for this adorable/hideous abomination.

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #5

Door #5: Return of the Post Office

After their ignominious knifing by a trap they blithely pushed over yesterday, the four adventurers have reconsidered their methods. Using their native cunning and some things that they vaguely remember hearing about squad tactics, they have formed a detailed plan for today's door. In the interest of brevity, we join their plan already in progress.

KLAUS: Whiskey, this is Tango. Have you cleared the stairs? We are proceeding to the stairs, Whiskey!
TODDY: Sorry, Klaus, I can't hear you. There's some kind of giant hairy obstruction in the stairway behind me.
JAMPA: Aww. Jampa cannot help his acoustic properties. Jampa was born this way.
KLAUS:  Code names, you two! Am I the only one taking this operation seriously? You'd think that after what happened yesterday, everyone would be ready to get a little more organized.
KABLOO: My heal-stick is running pretty low. Check those stairs again, Whiskey! Your class is more expendable than mine!

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #4

Door #4: The Post Office Strikes Back!

JAMPA: Why is Jampa back at the post office? Jampa is tired of post office puns. Jampa needs to grow as an artist.
KABLOO: Apparently, this place is glowing again, and there's another gift behind this other door, right Klaus? Klaus?... Hey, KLAUS!

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #3

Door #3: The Post Office

JAMPA: Hurray, glow is coming from post office! Jampa will DISPATCH the monsters! HA HA HA!
TODDY: Uurgh, if I wanted to hear sickening cheerfulness at this hour of night, I would have stayed in Tipsy Town with the rest of the elves! What's the matter with you today?
KLAUS: It's that magic stocking that we found in the school. He's been eating chocolate coins and Satsuma oranges out of it for hours, and now he's got a sugar high. By my calculations, he's consumed over a liter of table sugar and gods only know how much fructose....
JAMPA: Yes, Jampa is all FRUCT up! HA HA HA!
KLAUS: ...All right, I don't see any magical effects from out here. How does it look inside, Kabloo?

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #2

Door #2: The School

KABLOO: School. Why did it have to be school?

KLAUS: I don't know, but my arcane kenning tells me that tonight's gift is here.

JAMPA: Jampa saw the windows glowing, too!

KLAUS: My arcane kenning says shut up.

TODDY: All I "ken" is that I'm ready for some treasure! After two days of freezing my ears off in the wagon, all I've got from this trip so far is one gingerbread cookie and the smell of yeti on my clothes. Today's the day for lucre, world! You owe me!

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #1

Door #1: The Tavern

Canterbury Lane stands ghostlike and still amid the swirling snow of far-off Hyperborea. This abandoned main street, legend says, is all that remains of an enchanted empire of the north, an empire that lost its benevolent lord. He might have something to do with that big red tower with a face, legend supposes. That is the only way legend can figure it. You have to be a hell of a nice guy, or royalty, or ideally both, for people to raise your big fat face over their town like a mustachioed lighthouse.