12 Doors of Christmas: Door #12, part II

Door #12: The Tower (part II)

The last of the Long Nights has fallen on Canterbury Lane. Four unlikely heroes who first sought only treasure here now fight a monster from the stars for control of the Lane's potent magic. With labor, luck, and extra-large helpings of deus ex machina, they have gathered the Lane's magical gifts and nearly won the day, only to have them stolen at the last moment by Bingle, who now floats at the brink of mastering the Hyperborean north. Already, one of their number, the thieving and boozy Toddy, has fallen under Bingle's control, and the holiday mood grows grim as the others wonder who will be next.

 

BINGLE: End your resistance, human! And you, goblin, you know my power! My starflight suit is proof against your pitiful spells, and the gifts of Canterbury Lane are now mine to-- wait, what pathetic trick is this? This bag holds only nine gifts! Even with the two I hold, one remains missing. WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN IT?!
KLAUS: Ho ho ho! The set isn't complete -- we missed a gift in the post office!
KABLOO: Hee hee, yes! Our incompetence is the one secret weapon you can never take from us!
KLAUS: Speaking of secret weapons, JOLLY BLACK TENTACLES!

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #12, part I

Door #12: The Tower, part 1

KLAUS: Look sharp, everyone. The stakes are higher tonight than even I suspected. I cast some divinations earlier today, and it seems that this "Bingle" is a tyrant from another world who actually intends to conquer here! When I fought him years ago, I assumed that he was just another cold terrain monster starved for level-appropriate opponents. Monsters get rather sparse out in the cold.

JAMPA: Funny hat man is right! Back home, Jampa saw same remorhaz and frost worm fighting dozens of times. Big worm things got so excited whenever they saw each other, Jampa always thought one day they would just make out instead of fighting.

KABLOO: No no no, Bingle's no battle-horny, brain-dead ice monster! He's been a spirit patron of the goblin tribes for centuries;he's the one who taught us about winter magic. Normal druidism is powerful, sure, but you have to wade through a lot of unicorns and dew drops to get to it. Bingle took the animals out of nature magic and replaced them with bitterness... really cracked the goblin market for druid powers. He's practically a local deity.

KLAUS: Well, I'm no slouch myself. I ruled for centuries here too, and with much better results. Say what you will about a toy-based economy, but measured in gross domestic rocking horse output, I think my results speak for themselves. Jampa, do you see anything in that window?

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #11

Day #11: Boiler Room

It is 6:00 pm, theoretically Jampa's turn at watch and time for our two smallest protagonists to rest up for a night's adventuring. However, worrying thumps from the roof have disrupted their rest, and now result in the emergence of a surly snowman and a haggard Hyperborean elf from the lake house's upstairs window...

TODDY: What the HELL is going on out on this roof? Is it a knife-fight? Must be a goddamn EPIC, because I've HAD knife-fights on rooftops, and they weren't as GODDAMN loud as whatever the HELL you two are doing!
KLAUS: Pardon the noise, Toddy. I just finished identifying the treasure from that owl you killed, so I came up here to check on Jampa. He spotted the glow of today's present at the boiler room attached to the tower! I'm afraid we got a little excited.
KABLOO: Wait, what? I heard "treasure" and I stopped caring about everything else you had to say.
KLAUS: Yes, of course, we're all adventurers. First things first. The owl had a magic rifle, a pouch of jingle bells, the body of a little defunct golem, and some kind of horrible woolen garment. Just trifles, really. Speaking of treasure, though, I've got a question for you all. Do you want to keep on these next two days, or would you like to take your cut of the loot and go home?
TODDY: Hold on, I thought this was a quest now. Don't we have to get all the gifts for some kind of bullshit wizard reason?
KLAUS: I officially pronounce you all free from "wizard reasons." The gifts are part of a magical effect that can replace me if I'm gone, but I'm not gone -- not any more -- so they're not plot devices as far as you're concerned, just loot.
TODDY: But what about the... the monsters in the tower?
KABLOO: Oh, you mean the SPACE MONSTERS?
KLAUS: They're snow creatures from the winter stars... dangerous, certainly, but they're my problem. You're welcome to come along, but only if you want the last couple of gifts.

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #10

Door #10: The Hotel

After a day of spilling his goblin guts about his plan to achieve vast magical powers, Kabloo's allies remain dubious about his claims...

 

TODDY:  Okay, here's the plan for the hotel, guys. You two keep a look-out. I'm gonna go to the counter, give them our reservation, and ask whether anybody left infinite power at the desk for us.
KABLOO: Gyah, this is infuriating! I break down and tell you the secret of infinite power--violating my goblin ethics against helping people--and you mock me! Well, good! I'll take all the infinite power, and you two can suck it!
JAMPA: But Jampa doesn't want to suck it....
KABLOO: You will be made to suck it! That's what infinite power is for!

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #9

Door #9: Lake House (Upstairs)

 

TODDY: What, are you trying to take 40 on your search over there? Get a move on, Kabloo!

KABLOO: Don't rush me! I'm sure there's something living up here! It's coming and going at night...  scuttling around... watching us... planning our demise!

TODDY: You get that just from the scuttling, do you?

KABLOO: Well, that's what I would do if I were trying to kill us. Bah, fine, let's go inside! Obviously, this is some wretched creature that likes to jump out and scare you before it kills you. (Again, like I do.)

JAMPA: Ha ha, PRESENTS! But Jampa hopes scuttling thing really does want to kill us. Jampa doesn't like to kill harmless rats for treasure. First level was a sad time for Jampa.

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #8

Door #8: Lake House (Kitchen)

KABLOO: ... so this cretin--ha ha--he thinks, "How can I cut my own head off and put this thing on the stump?" Well--hee hee-- he decides to summon a bunch of carnivorous apes, and he just gives the apes his scimitar, and tells them--HA HA HO!-- he tells the apes to CUT HIS HEAD OFF!
JAMPA: Oh no! Did dumb druid get magical powers?
KABLOO: No, that's the point, it-- HEE HEE HEE-- it was JUST SOME POOR SLOB'S SEVERED HEAD! IT WASN'T MAGICAL AT ALL! HO HO HAA HA HA! (gasp) So now there's this decapitated body and TWO HEADS on the ground--HAAA HA-- hee hee-- AND THESE CONFUSED-LOOKING APES JUST STANDING AROUND WITH A SCIMITAR-- HA HA HA HA!
JAMPA: Jampa doesn't understand why little snow man is laughing. This is serious! Flesh-eating gorillas are about to get super lich powers! Jampa is very concerned.
KABLOO: Bah, nevermind. -- heh heh-- Yeti just don't have a taste for decapitation jokes like goblins do. It's your loss.

12 Doors of Christmas: Door #7

Door #7: The Lakehouse

KABLOO: "GO HOME?!" What do you mean, "go home?!" I didn't miss the opening of the Long Nights festival back in Gobstop to walk down half of Canterbury Lane! I missed the pony rides, the pony toss and the Great Pony Feast!
KLAUS: Now, Kabloo, when we all met, we agreed to do this for the treasure. But don't we have plenty already? We've got over 10,000 gp apiece here, and the monsters are getting tougher. I don't want to see someone--maybe all of us--die just because you and I have a caster crush on this Nicholas gentleman.
JAMPA: Let Jampa cross the pond! Look, big wooden lake house is glowing! Ooh, what could the present be? Could be boring books, big hat man! Or could be magic hat of self-control, little elf friend! Could be anything! LET'S GO LET'S GO!
TODDY: I'm with Klaus. This place isn't rogue-friendly; we're lucky we've made it this far. I say split the loot and get out.
KABLOO: So, we're tied. Do we stand here and watch the yeti drool all night while the gift fades away, or is somebody going to budge?
KLAUS: ... Very well. If we're all prepared to take the risk, let's cross the pond. I am terribly curious about what's in that tower....